Loneliness

Ouch..i nv nv nv thought loneliness was such an unpleasant emotion to feel. I have to amid, i thought i could survie on my own, everyday at home, play with currencies,stocks and managaing my own portfolio etc etc doing my own thing at my own time, having my OWN time, no one distrub me, no one talking to me , no smses , no phone calls, no nothing. At first the feeling was nice, but its been going on for 2 weeks now and the feeling SUCKS!!!! I find myself wanting to look for some1 to talk to , to go out with, to share thoughts about life etc etc. MSN is definately not enough, yes alot of ppl come to msn and talk to me..but its just not enough, there is no humanly voice ..and i need that voice to keep myself happy. I have to say im not a person who can live alone.. i need to interact, make more new friends, i want to talk more, i want to just hang out with sincere ppl who doesn;t want my money or my help or my treat. Nowadays, when i go out with some friends , all i do is treat them, treat and treat if not they refuse to come out. Hiaz. And all the good friends like Sharon, Kris, Aveline, Ajay is either working or overseas, they keep working and working non-stop then sat either go out with BF or GF. I le..y am i not working? Simply cause i hate to work, espically admin jobs or sOME business analyst..kao..spare me plz. IM going mad nowadays cause no one talks to me (on the phone or go out) ...and when people are free to go out, i will either be very busy (ETC:TA exam) or busy traveling (Etc: going India during school holidays) Oh man..GOD plz grant me new friends, GOD i need new friends, i need more people around me , get me out of this darkness. Actually i kind of deserve it, looking back, when i was in my poly years, i got alot of duties to fulfill, my friends were either partying or clubbing somewhere i will reject thier offer cause i wanted to go back and study or plan out my events, my old friends will always ask me to go eat lunch during weekends but i will lie to them say i no $$ to spend. Now that i have finally obtained a place in a local uni and got a Certi.O.M, as i have planned..i rather give them all up and have very good friends....then again maybe not.. lol.. HIAZ..IM LONELY!!!!! My cousin Racheal has gone off to HK for holiday, Edmund is in his own world, DR is busy with dun know what, Ajay is in India waiting for me to go there, Hans is in NS..and still having $ troubles and Aveline still havent come back. OMG..Next week will be another Lone X10 week for me T_T ~Rex out