University of Stress.

Today im be sharing with my readers somethings that are not soo pleasing to me since entering into uni. At first i was looking forward to uni, having thought that NS will a pure waste of my time and wanting to move forward with my life. Thinking that life will be much better in NUS then in NS, but i was dead wrong. It seems there is almost no difference in the level of suffering whether you add in a "U" between the "N" and "S".

Ever since entering into uni, the work pile just slams right into your face, projects, presentations, group discussion, research work, report reviewing, essay writing are ENDLESS! Not only that, the tutorials and lectures are fast and difficult to understand. All these with the grace of God, im can manage (bearly actually)... what makes my suitation worse is that many students in school are doing much better then me, they are soo damn smart , some of my friends don't even bother to come to lectures and yet can scored very well for their mid term whereas my results are borderline 50-60/ 100 marks <-- shocking arh.. yes i did study, i spend many hours studying ,doing projects , reviewing hmk etc and yet my results are disappointing.

Sometimes i feel very left out in terms of intellect , how can some of my friends be able to enjoy sch CCAs like ruby, mountain climbing, dragon boat, investment clubs and yet be able to do soo well? Some are able to grasp what the lecturer is saying immediately , some are soo damn rich they really dun give a damn because they can fall back on the pile of $ that their parents left for them. Sometimes i can;t help it, i swell up with envy and jealous , even though i keep a smiling poker face everytime some idiot ask me "hows you're result arh? I got full marks you know?"

I must also admit, i feel stupid at times, i have thoughts like do i really deserve a place here? Im going to drop out soon ..

But like always, God and his word is always there, to not only comfort me but show me the right direction.

What im going through now, are one of the many trails in my life. Perhaps the lessons i going to learn or have learnt from entering uni is this

1)Learning how to cope with arrogant people

-the way they talk, act, showoff, can i control my own emotions being around these people? How will i react? Can i learn not to feel jealous or envious? I really need to STOP comparing with others, for others have their own strengths and i have my own.

2)Learning to deal with disappointments

-Results are already like that, ive tried my best, i will try harder, i must not give up, trusting the God, whether im going to drop out or not, whether i get all Bs and Cs on my result slip, whether i'll be able to take honors, it doesn't really matter, what really matters is whether i tired my best NOT for my own achievements but for God's glory (this law is damn hard to apply btw ) If everything im going to do is for God's glory, then there will not be a need to feel jealous at all.

3)Increase inner endurance and determination to move on despite the disappointments

-Perhaps then these mountain of workload is to help me manage my time well, to study the important points, to quicken my understanding, to be able to think quicker, to learn to cope with mental study stress and i must not insult God to think that im a stupid person. For stupidity comes in many forms like not learning from life's trails and tribulation, blinded by past achievement and own arrogance.

4)Reminding that im just a steward , that nothing on this earth actually belongs to me.

Trails and tribulations in life are always there, God wants me to experience these situations so that i may develop inner endurance (Perseverance) , to drill in the fact that we are stewards on this earth and to cultivate more of my faith.

Im i saying all these to comfort myself? Maybe.. but i want to be able to be like Job, when he was suffering terribly in his time, he not only not curse God, but continue to give praise, he came out of his situation a matured & doubly blessed man. I want to be like those three who got thrown into the hot furnace and wasn't harm because of their faith, in turn impacting the people around them.

I have indeed alot of learn, there are more trails coming as my uni's final year exam is coming next mth, how will i react, what will i do? . (soo damn fast, ive only been in uni for like 2mths...) God please... i ask only for one thing help me get thru this by giving my more faith.